22 UNWRITTEN RULES OF PARIS

Know Before You Go!

Heading to Paris soon? Maybe for the 2024 Summer Olympics perhaps?

Visiting a new place, or if you’ve been several times before, anywhere you go, there are those unwritten rules that you may or may not know about. Paris is no different. I have listed some unwritten rules of Paris (and beyond) that I think will help anyone who is traveling to Paris and beyond. It’s always best to be prepared before you go. 😀

1. Greetings

Always greet the shop owner when you enter their boutique, store, or restaurant. A simple, “Bonjour Madame/Monsieur” and a smile is all it takes. Although it may seem menial to us in the states, it is a huge part of French culture. If you don’t greet them, they often take offense and think it is rude. And, when you leave an establishment, thank them and tell them good-bye such as, “Merci, au revoir” (Thank you, good-bye). It will be very much appreciated. You can refer to this post for a few cultural tips when traveling to France.

2. Make an Effort to Speak a Little French

If you make an effort to at least try to say just a couple of words in French, you will delight the person you are encountering. Some very practical key phrases you will want to learn and practice are:

• Bonjour – Hello
• Au Revoir – Good-bye
• S’il vous plaît – Please
• Merci – Thank you

3. Use Your Inside Voice

As you may know or can imagine, the French are very proper in many ways. Although they enjoy a good laugh and having a good time, you will not see the French being loud and boisterous in restaurants. In fact, they often speak very low, almost even a whisper so as to not disturb others around them. Dining is a very important part of the day and to be sitting among loud, noisy, obnoxious diners is very detestable. This doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your conversation and the company you are with – just don’t be one of those offensive ones!

4. Don’t Eat on the Go

Grabbing something quick and eating on the go is a rarity – if ever seen – in Paris. The locals simply do not “grab and go.” Eating, and “food” in general, is very important to the French and often treated like a ritual of sorts. Even if they only have time for something quick, they will find a park bench or somewhere to sit and eat, then back to wherever they are going. Walking and eating isn’t a thing, so if you don’t want to stand out as a tourist, either duck into somewhere to sit and eat, or at least find a bench or short wall to sit on, or find a quiet area out of the way of pedestrians to enjoy your bite to eat.

5. Lunch Time

As mentioned, eating is a very important part of French life. They take it seriously. When you’re strolling the streets of Paris, know that most shops will be closed for lunch. This is usually between Noon and 2:00 pm. It is very common to see a hand written note on the door stating when they will return after lunch. So, just be prepared to halt your shopping if it’s lunch time. Better yet – go find a lovely cafe and have lunch yourself!

6. “The French Don’t Like Americans” is NOT True

Have you ever been told that the French don’t like Americans? Well, I’m here to tell you that it isn’t a fair stereotype nor is it true. Just like anywhere, if someone comes to your home/boutique/shop and proceeds to speak to you in a foreign language, but they expect you to understand them, ummm… you may not know how to respond. To be honest, I think it would be a little rude should someone do that to you without trying to at least ask if you speak their language. I presume sometimes the French can get a little annoyed with people only speaking their native language without at least trying to communicate with them in French. How would you handle this situation?

7. You Need to Ask Your Server if You Need Something (in a restaurant)

Unlike servers in the US, French waiters and waitresses feel that they are impeding on your private time while you are dining if they come to your table to continually ask if everything tastes good, if you need anything, etcetera. This is good to know when you visit. They are not being rude or ignoring you – they are actually being very respectful to you and your dining experience. If you do need something, politely flag them to your table for your needs. (NOTE: Drink refills are not standard and are normally not free).

8. Don’t Rush Your Meals

When you are having lunch or dinner, that is your space/table until you are ready to leave. A lot of times we may feel rushed when we’re eating in a restaurant as they usually try to cycle people through as quickly as possible. This isn’t the case in Europe. When you make a reservation, you are reserving that table for as long as you wish. There is no need to rush your time. Enjoy your dinner, your company and the view as long as you want.

9. You Need to Ask for the Check (in a restaurant)

As mentioned previously, your server will not “bother” you during your meal. You will need to catch their attention and ask for the check/bill when you are ready to leave. They will not bring it to you until you ask for it. “L’addition, s’il vous plaît” is the proper way to ask for the bill or check – “the addition (check), please.”

When you ask for the check you can also let them know that you will be paying by credit card so that they will bring their machine to the table with them. You can say, “Puis-je payer avec une carte de crédit, s’il vous plaît?”. NOTE: If you wish to add a small tip, if their service was great, you may ask them to add a couple of euros before they run the total amount of the check. Some places I’ve been to will do this, some do not. If not, always have small amounts of cash to leave for great service.

10. Toilettes

There are not a lot of public toilets in Paris (and beyond). I have learned that anytime I stop at a cafe, museum, event center, large shopping stores, etc., to ALWAYS use the Ladies room when they are available. You will see some public toilets on the streets, however I’ve heard that they are usually not clean. I do not know this from experience. (Photo taken from internet)

11. Obey Driving Laws

In my opinion, Europeans are very good, law-abiding citizens when it comes to driving! It is so nice to drive in France (and other countries in Europe) because they are such respectful drivers. They actually use lanes properly and only get in the left lane when they are passing, then go back to the right lane after they have passed the slower vehicle. I appreciate that so much. Haha! In Paris, they are most respectful to pedestrians and certainly obey the traffic lights. And… word has it that there are no stop SIGNS in Paris. I’ve never seen one, have you?

12. Don’t Special Order Items From the Menu

When ordering in a cafe or restaurant, it is offensive to order an item from the menu, then ask to alter it. I’ve heard it explained by a local Parisian that if you don’t like how the item is prepared, or what it comes with, then order something else. You may order a main plate that comes with a choice of a side – so of course you choose from those options. However, if you order a menu item that comes with onions, but you don’t want onions, then you may be told that you cannot order it that way. Again, the French really take food seriously, and you may be frowned upon if you order a menu item, then ask them to make adjustments to it.

13. Tipping

Tipping in France is not obligatory. You may see “service compris” on your check (l’addition). This means that the service is included. If you really had an enjoyable meal and your server was great, it is nice to leave them just a few euros (depending on the amount of the bill). You can refer to this post for more guidance on tipping.

14. No Mobiles at the Table

In my opinion, this shouldn’t need to be mentioned, however… … it does. I think this is just a “thing” of today’s society, but please put your phone down while having dinner. Mealtime is an important time of the day and we should all take a break from emails, texts, social media and whatever else during this time.

15. Paying for Inexpensive Items

It is good to always have a small amount of coins and small bills to pay for inexpensive items. For instance, you shouldn’t go to a boulangerie or market to purchase a croissant and provide your credit card. In fact, it may not be accepted as the total is so small. I have seen where shopkeepers have denied payment by credit card due to the small amount of the bill. It makes sense as it probably costs them more for the credit card processing fees than what a croissant costs.

16. Joie de Vivre

I have read and seen that the French really do prefer quality of life over “keeping up with the Jones’s.” They may only have a tiny apartment, but they often get together with friends in the evenings to share a meal and enjoy each other’s company. Working long hours and weekends just to make more money isn’t what they strive for. Most would prefer less “things”, but a lot more quality time to spend with family and friends. It’s a great reminder, at least to me, to focus on what’s really most important. Take the time to enjoy a glass of wine with a co-worker, have a picnic along the Seine with friends, dance on the square, stroll along the streets together with your bestie – just enjoy the people in your life and make time for them.

17. Be Prepared to WALK (or ride a bike)

Paris is the most gorgeous city in my opinion. I understand that when I’m there, I’m vacationing (and doing some work), but it is such a walkable city that my husband and I try to walk as much as we can. I’m certainly not saying that we don’t sometimes take the metro or a G7, but we walk A LOT when we’re there. The locals do the same. They are very active and often ride a bike or walk on a daily basis.

Side note – You will also see a lot of scooters in the city for the locals who have a lot of miles to cover daily. They are a better option than having a car (and they can squeeze through all the traffic to the beginning of the line at a traffic light)!

18. Attire

“What to wear in Paris” can be stressful to some people. Others say, “who cares what you’re wearing”. In my opinion, I definitely dress to be comfortable – but not sloppy and slouchy. There’s a big difference. I would never wear sweats, flip flops, exercise apparel (unless I’m actually running) while in Paris. Ensuring you are comfortable is most important. Dress appropriate for the weather and for any events you may attend where you need to up your game a little, but overall, BE COMFORTABLE!

That being said, we all know that Paris is the fashion capital of the world. I love to people-watch and Paris is perfect for this. Nothing makes me smile more than seeing a “mature” woman finely dressed – usually a hat with a matching overcoat or scarf, very well fitting clothes, fancy shoes and a designer bag. They just have that… je ne sais quoi… and I love to see it! Don’t think you need to be strolling through Paris in these…

19. Make Room

Be prepared to sit very close to your neighbors in cafés and restaurants. Paris is a huge city and there are LOTS of people. Most restaurants try to make use of every bit of their real estate. This means that the tables are very close together. Sometimes the hostess will take you to a table and you’re left wondering “how in the world am I going to squeeze between the tables to sit down?”. Been there, done that – several times. Often they will actually have tables touching and they have to move the table out in order to have someone sit down – even while you’re already at the table having dinner. They think nothing of it, so I’m warning you now so that you don’t either if/when this happens to you. 🙂

20. Know Your Surroundings

Paris is a very safe city, but there are over 2 million people that live there PLUS all the tourists on any given day. So, just be aware of your surroundings and your personal items. Pickpocketing is very common and the culprits may not look the way you may think. Often times they have clipboards, they’re prevalent on metros and waiting for those who are distracted (usually by their mobile phones) and they are at most touristy areas. Just always ensure you have a good eye (and hand) on your personal items and you’re paying attention. I’ll be posting more of different scams and how the pickpocketers work in groups. Stay tuned!

21. Keep Your Metro Ticket

If you’re taking the metro, please do not discard your ticket until after you have exited the metro station! I have seen this happen, and have been checked myself. There are metro workers at the exits checking for metro tickets to ensure people aren’t getting free rides. Guess what – if you already threw away your ticket and you get checked, you’re considered guilty and will have to pay a fee. So, it’s simple enough to keep your ticket on you until you walk up the stairs to street level.

22. Don’t Touch Produce at the Markets

Visiting the markets is one of my favorite things to do in Europe. The fresh produce markets are no exception. They have such lovely, orderly displays of their colorful “produits” – but, do not handle the goods as this can be seen as rude by some vendors. You may even see signs that state, “Ne pas toucher” – Do not touch. It is much more appropriate to point to what you want and let the vendor grab it for you.

You can also check out this link for a different perspective of etiquette for first-timers. It’s a great read and more things to learn about unwritten rules of Paris.

So, what is something new that you learned? Do you have any other advice or suggestions for others that I have missed? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. ~Merci!